Networking… Do I Have To?
submitted by: Steve Smolinsky, Benari LTD
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It’s amazing how many people ask this question. Of course, the answer is “No.” No one (except those of you with a pushy boss) is forcing you to meet new people, strengthen relationships with people you already know, have enjoyable lunch meetings, learn new things, or go new places. It’s perfectly fine to remain the same old you with the same old friends and business associates.
But… should you be interested in expanding your horizons, the answer is a resounding “Yes.” Contrary to popular belief, it’s very easy to be successful at networking if you remember a few simple things……
First of all, it’s not work, it’s fun.
Networking is an exciting activity where you get to go interesting places, meet new people, and learn new things. So the first step is changing your mindset. Relax, take a deep breath, and start out by imagining the amazing things you’ll be learning as you meet new people. And remember, that odd feeling you sometimes get in the pit of your stomach, it’s your body getting ready to follow those butterflies to beautiful and sweet smelling new experiences.
Secondly, you need to prepare.
That’s right, prepare just like you would if you were going to present a detailed report to your boss. Think about how you want to present yourself. Of course, since you will meet a variety of people under many different circumstances, you need to have a number of different things to say ready to go. After all, meeting people while looking for a date does require saying some different things about yourself than meeting that potential business client.
Third, it’s hard to prepare without planning.
Maybe planning should come before prepare. It’s your choice… just do both. Planning is really very simple when we’re talking about networking. There are no extended PowerPoint presentations required. Merely think about what you want to achieve. Why are you going places? Who would you like to meet? What are the measures of success for a new encounter? I happen to believe it helps to write things down, but that only means using the back of that old envelope to make a few notes… No computers required.
Fourth, it should be fun.
Now I know I already said this, but I’ve noticed how many people seem to forget this. So I figure a little reinforcement is required. It is impossible to make a good impression with someone when you’re working too hard. Relax, enjoy yourself. The worst that will happen is someone won’t talk to you again. Then you get to go someplace else and meet some other people. Who knows, one of them might be that great client you’ve been looking for.
Fifth, practice.
Successful networking and developing new relationships is like anything else… the more you practice the better you get. Don’t for one minute think that all those people you see who look so at ease haven’t practiced. Sure, some people have the good luck to have better natural skills, but they still work at it. Politicians, actors, famous executives… they all have coaches and advisers who help them polish their message, fix up their image, think about how they come across. If it’s good enough for these folks, maybe you should give it a try. Personally, I find the best coach is my mirror. It never lies and never talks back. Try practicing introducing yourself to your mirror every morning in a different way. When you get a few introductions you like, try them out on other people.
Sixth, just do it.
You might have heard this before. It’s just as true for networking as for any activity. Get out there. See what happens. Figure out what works for you. Stop going to the places where you never meet anyone. Find new places to go. Try new things, new ways of introducing yourself, maybe even a new tie or scarf and see what happens. Life… and networking… are an ongoing process. You get out of them what you put in to them. They occur over time… so give them a chance. Time is critical, don’t expect instant results, sometimes it takes years before someone needs what you have to offer. Don’t get discouraged.
Finally, have fun.
As you can tell, I firmly believe that if it’s fun it’s easier. You come across better. People like you more. They want to be with you. So it feeds on itself. As more people want to be with you, more people want to be with you. As you realize how much fun you are, you become more fun. It’s an amazing thing. And it will work for you.
Tip of the Article: Networking… just do it
Steven Smolinsky steve@ConversationOnNetworking.com. Author with Kay Keenan of Conversation On Networking: finding, developing, and maintaining relationships for business and life. Sign up for their free newsletter at www.ConversationOnNetworking.com
